Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm passing your future prison.
my being single is dangerous.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
