Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
