I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
