East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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