PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
