I wish my penis had an off switch
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
