I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
