What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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