i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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