When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
