I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
