tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm at about main and main street
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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