Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she looked like the before picture.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
