Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
