you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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