so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I pour the whiskey from now on
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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