did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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