just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
