You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize