That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
