Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
