You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Two words: blizzard sex
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
