I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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