You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
