IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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