if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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