i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
