i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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