my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
