don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
