Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
