sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
its liver damage thursday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
