are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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