weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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