Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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