She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
