playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
