lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
