I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
