oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
