Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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