And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
