i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
