Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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