I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How does it feel to date your dad?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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