I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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