I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
