when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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