I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
