Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
