Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I need to sanitize my soul.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
