Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
