pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
