i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
