Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
