and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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