You just made me feel so damn special
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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