Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
