john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
